guilty

It's a little after 2 PM and both my kids just went down for naps.  I have worked hard all this week trying to get them on the same schedule so that every day I get 2 whole hours of quietness.  It is AWESOME(understatement).  I look forward to this time every day and even though I'm usually fairly unproductive it is so nice to have some time to myself... to just breathe.

Today I am feeling guilty.  This morning I was letting Mack walk around without his diaper on and every time he would have to pee he would spray a little out on the floor and then run to the potty and sit there and nothing would happen.  I kept wiping up his spray with a clorox wipe and it left sticky spots on my floor.  So that spurred me into a cleaning frenzy.  Do you ever just get in the mood to clean?  anyone anyone?  I totally do.  So we put Ruby to sleep and I started with my bathroom.  I kinda let Mack do whatever he pleased and let him help with windex and the mirror's.  Then when Ruby woke up early I put her in her swing to get 30 more minutes of her asleep.  Mack asked to watch Barney and honestly he doesn't watch much TV, I mean he doesn't regular watch a show per day so I figured he could watch his show and I could keep cleaning.  So I cleaned Mack's bathroom and then headed to the downstairs.  I started with the floor by the door and swept and got ready to wash it(i'm a hand and knees kind of girl).  Ruby woke up so I fed her and had Mack take care of her(risking her life) so I could clean the floor.  We had lunch and I cleaned that up and then proceeded to vacuum all the rugs which led to washing the floor in the kitchen and laundry room too.  So now my kids are in bed and my house is pretty darn clean and I feel guilty.

Why?  Well I feel like our society is never pleased with women.  You fail if your house is dirty.  Who cares if it is dirty because you were helping your kids all day or your husband is never home or maybe your neighbor is really sick and you have been helping her bottom line is your house is dirty=fail.  But if you spend your day letting your kids sleep in swings and watch shows and not sit and play with them that is a fail too.  Every day isn't like this.  We spend lots of mornings where I just sit and play or read stories or bounce that baby but today I didn't let my 2 young kids stop me.  Today was a day I just plowed through and got the stuff that I have wanted to do for the whole time I've been living here done.  I shouldn't feel guilty I should feel happy and accomplished and excited to spend time with my kids tomorrow.

I just think those signs that say 'don't mind the mess the children are making memories' are lame.  I don't think there is anything wrong with taking time away from our children to clean up our houses and feel happy that we can walk bare footed.

and guess what tomorrow I'm going to gym and taking them to the gym child care too.